- what to do? what to freaking do?
- April 27th, 2011
So I've been seeing this "someone" for quite sometime now (fine! for the last 3 months). and I'm kind of in shock because everything's going extremely well. For me to say "extremely well", it's actually a very good thing. For the first time I'm not really interested to see someone else (AKA play and fuck around). I rarely reply to random flirtations may it be on Facebook, Twitter, text messages, or even face-to-face (rarely to none that is). I have lost my appetite to go to THAT (read: PR) website to look at things (you heard it right. just look). So again, it's going well. We're comfortable with each other. We call out each others mistakes or whatnot. We laugh like crazy. We both love to go out and find new restaurants to eat at. We almost have the same taste in music. We're both jokesters, family-oriented. We're both stubborn and a whole lot more.
Don't get me wrong it was rough at the beginning. You know, the typical job interview-like dates.
"What do you do?"
"How old are you?"
"Why are you still single?"
"What are you looking for in a relationship?"
"Do you live alone?"
and the doubting part where you question yourself, "So do you really want to go through this again Bogs?"
of course i said YES to my own question. So I risked it. I risked it and made it worse.
HERE'S THE THING: we're not together. you know what i mean. we are together, but not "together". We act like we're a couple, but we are not a "couple". don't get me wrong I'm open-minded and all but what's difficult is the fact that there are things you cannot say to this person because YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER. the commitment part is missing. What's harder is that I know that if this person decides it's over! done! finito! I don't have a fucking say. Call me old-fashioned but wouldn't you want that validation? that affirmation that you are with someone...officially. this exclusively-dating-no-strings-attached thing threw me out of my game.